Time Traveling for what!

Note: This is a work of sature, please dont take it seriously. I have to add this disclaimer because there are people out there who are likely to take it seriously. This particular story refers to two infamous fatwas where the scholars suggested that a man and a woman who are working in an office can interact with one another if  they are mehram. They can become mehram if she breastfeeds the man and thus they can work in the same environment. The fatwa caused an outrage in Egypt and it had to be retracted. The following story is inspired from that fatwa.


(I) In the year 2040: This was a problem that scholar and scientists had wrestled with for millenia but no one had a solution which everyone could agree on. The perrenial problem was how to ensure that people can interact with one another without falling for their lustful desires. Large number of “scientific” studies had shown that even in academic environments whereever people interacted

uncovered

or covered

…. it always led to disaster.

(II) Finally the scientist and the scholars sat down and after billions of dillars of research found an “elegant” solution to this problem – Time Travel.

(III) The solution works as follows: Suppose that Fatima and Abu Imran are two colleages in an office who have to interact with one another but they cannot because they are not mehram. They will be first taken to the Time Travelling facility.

(IV) Where the scientists will take the DNA sample from the man and feed it to the supercomputer who will find an appropriate point in time in the past for the necessary changes.

(V) One of the agents of the Temporal Religious Police would be selected to go back in time.

(VI) The agent will go back in time when Abu Imran is just an infact and at a  moment when no one is looking he will grab Abu Imran.

(VII) Now that he is back to the future with the young Abu Imran, Fatima can breastfeed him and thus the mehram relationship will be established between them.

(VIII) Afterwards the infant Abu Imran will be sent back to his own time and thus there  will be no paradox. Muslims all over teh world have shown interest in using this technology of time travel to solve other problems e.g., the Palestinian conflict but the authories say that they do not want to interfere in the affairs of God and besides what can possibly be more important that breastfeeding one’s colleages from the past!

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  1. #1 by Saladin on August 1, 2010 - 4:34 pm

    Hah! That is one of the most amusing lego stories I’ve seen in awhile.

  2. #2 by Khadijah C. on August 1, 2010 - 11:21 pm

    This is witty!

  3. #3 by azlin on August 2, 2010 - 2:58 am

    i laughed so hard, i started crying!

  4. #4 by Ali on August 2, 2010 - 8:53 pm

    MashAllah
    I’m laughing non-stop!

  5. #5 by Hajar Alwi on August 3, 2010 - 5:55 am

    Just the thing I need to clear my mind. Keep ’em coming! 🙂

  6. #6 by Mezba on August 3, 2010 - 12:44 pm

    Very witty! Now you have to do one post something about Dubai!

  7. #7 by Candice on August 5, 2010 - 3:49 pm

    LOOOL, Too funny! I don’t think the disclaimer was necessary. It would have been just too funny for someone to come on here all serious about the topic!

  8. #8 by Salim on August 8, 2010 - 7:25 pm

    that’s hilah al-shar’iyyah, though 🙂

  9. #9 by abupokemon on August 9, 2010 - 5:19 pm

    Thanks, I am glad that everyone liked it.

    HA, iA I will keep them coming.

  10. #10 by dadwhowrites on September 16, 2010 - 11:54 am

    Wandered over after you left a comment at my blog (via Achelois?). My God, this is funny (and weirdly educational).

  11. #11 by abupokemon on September 16, 2010 - 11:55 pm

    dadwhowrites, welcome to the blog. Yes I cam across it via Achelois. Just dont take these posts too serious, just like everywhere and every school of thought there are Muslims who will come up with strange things in life and this is an attempt to answer those.

  12. #12 by Taha AA on November 19, 2010 - 4:40 am

    hahaahaha!!!!! that is just bloody hilarious!!!! man andwoman can only be mahram if she breastfeeds her (5x) daily????? oh these outrageous dimwitted fools that make such outrageious fatwas

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